Wednesday, 07 January 2009

• Thoughts, oh how troublesome you can be.

  My mind has been going around in circles for the past few days and I feel as if I will crack if I don't write what's going through my brain.
  
  Personally, I think most of these thoughts that keep swirling around my mind are induced by stress. Lately, I have felt compelled to breeze by my final few months of High School with doing the bare minimal amount of work, instead of working hard. This is so bothersome, I can't even explain how at odds I am with myself over this. I am a naturally lazy person. So far, in High School, at least, I have not received anything lower than a B on report cards. That was with me being lazy. I finally want to actually try at school and my laziness is seriously urging me to be even lazier than usual!
  
  Urgh!
  
  Not only have I been constantly battling against laziness, I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with the rest of my life. Having already been accepted into the college of my choice, now I only have to decide what my major will be. My passion for art keeps pushing for me to be a Graphic Designer. However, would that really make me truly happy? Would I actually succeed? Those are only a few questions that have been probing my mind.
  
  Unfortunately, life is too complicated for one to be able to travel wherever they want without a care in the world. If it were possible to do that, I would in a heartbeat as I'm sure many other people would do as well.
  
  I have been bitten by the travel bug and have had a constant nagging at my heart to travel to go back to Japan again ever since I returned from my first trip there. I want to live there, even though I hardly know the language and don't know what I'd do over there for a job! If only for a few years, at least I would have the experience of living in a foreign land. It's like I'm homesick for a home I barely know.
  
  Is it possible for someone to be truly happy? Even with my Christian belief, it's hard to fathom one single human being -that wasn't Jesus- who was truly happy on Earth...

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